THE BACKSTAGE
there's so much going on
unspoken in the back
of the mind

September 12, 2019

A letter

Dear God,
I don’t know what the future holds but I’m counting on you.
I don’t know what you’re planning for me. I don’t know how the next few months will unfold but I’m counting on you to give me the strength and patience I need to get through it.
I don’t know if you will answer my prayers or if you will keep taking me on another ride I wasn’t prepared for.
I don’t know if you will give me a break or another difficult test.
I have been trying to handle everything in the best and wisest way possible. I’ve been trying to connect all the dots and understand the bigger picture and follow the signs you’ve been sending me but I admit that I’m tired.
My brain is tired. My heart is tired. My soul is tired.
I don’t know what the future holds but I’m ready for things to change. I’m ready for my life to finally start making sense. I’m ready for peace. I’m longing for stability.
I know that either way, I’ll be fine. That either way, I’ll count on you. I know that you will guide me through the hard times like you always do but I guess I’m asking for leeway this time. I’m ready for a miracle to lift all the heaviness and all the burdens.
I’m counting on you this time but in a different way. Counting on your generosity. Counting on your forgiveness. Counting on your magnificent surprises. Counting on your mercy.
I don’t know what the future holds but I want it to be brighter and better than what I had imagined.
I don’t know what the future holds but all I know is that there’s nothing you can’t do. There’s nothing you can’t fix. That you are the only one who can turn everything around in the blink of an eye.

September 08, 2019

Berguru Kehidupan

Dear Professor X, 

Perkenalkan saya Melani. Saat ini saya sedang melakukan doctoral research di Universität Heidelberg Jerman.

Akhir-akhir ini makin terlihat maraknya self branding yang sering disertai dengan overclaiming di Indonesia. Di dunia akademisi, sering saya lihat rekan-rekan yang memasang status facebook/story instagram terkait naskah publikasinya yang published, foto saat presentasi poster, hingga ada beberapa yang menulis link LinkedIn di profile Instagram. Kultur seperti ini tidak pernah saya temukan di Jerman selama masa studi master dan doktoral saya disini.

Oleh karena itu saya ingin belajar dari pengalaman Professor X yang saya jadikan salah satu role model karena sikap Prof dalam bersosial media yang menurut saya sangat bijak. Pertanyaan saya yaitu:  
1. Sebagai peneliti dan akademisi, seberapa penting selfbranding?
2. Apakah memiliki "nama" lebih baik dibanding karya? 
3. Apakah jawaban kedua pertanyaan diatas context-based? Apakah ada jawaban berbeda untuk pilihan karir di Indonesia dan di luar negri? 

Terima kasih banyak Prof atas perhatiannya. Saya harap bisa mendapat tanggapan dari Anda.

Salam hormat,
Melani

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Hey Melani, 
Thanks for reaching out. I visit Heidelberg very often; my wife studied there. What a beautiful city! — and what questions! I won’t directly address your questions but here are my thoughts. 

The most important thing for me is leading an authentic life whatever your profession is. It is about taking up the responsibility of making the world a better place - by striving to be the most competent version of yourself. If fame befalls, it should do so as byproduct not goal. 

Self branding is inherent in everyone, like it or not - its what one chooses to do with it that’s paramount. 

You are studying in one of the world’s best and oldest universities. What you’re standing on is a bottomless sea of potential. Don’t worry about career (if you ever do) - the world is your playground. Be the most deadly force of intellect, offer the world solutions to her problems, then articulate your wisdom to our youngs. By doing so, you are shedding the worst light to those over-claimants.